Tuesday, 27 January 2009


Well today, is our wonderful first snow day. And it came right on time I might add.

Last night and all the days leading up to it I've become increasingly stressed out with expectations that I have to meet. Getting good grades, deciding what I want to do, going to pointless youth retreats (pressure from the youth leader, pastor, and other people ugh), musical (we did the first run through of Act One, IT WAS ROUGH), being pretty, being a good daughter, and friend. I don't usually write about insecurities publicly, actually I hardly ever write/talk about them. And this post isn't about that. But it just all came crashing last night, and I turned it into determinisim. (If that's a word).

So heres my little vow to myself to meet those expectations that people or myself have put on me.

And it starts today on this lovely snow day. I woke up before the school council people had decided to cancel so I took a shower and by the time I was out they had declared cancelation. But I can't just go back to sleep so I had 2 cups of coffee, and watched One Tree Hill. Its also a Jason Mraz day. I don't know if I've ever been up so early on a day I don't have school. Its not even 8 o'clock!

Well, I'm going to go work on AP Psych or something. Horray for snow days!

Saturday, 24 January 2009

Emma Watson is STILL my Favorite Actress

I love Harry Potter so much. And I just needed to take a stroll down memory lane. I started liking it in 4th grade, when my older sister read the first chapter to me, I was hooked took the book from her and read the rest. I remember as I was finishing the first book the first movie was coming out in theaters. My parents said I couldn't see the movie until I finished the book so I read my little 9 year old eyes out into the night in order to finish in time. I went an saw the first movie later on with my dad. He fell asleep around the time they got on the Hogwarts Express. Then I kept reading the books, of course I finished all the ones that were out by the time the second movie was released. When Chamber of Secrets came out in theaters I was living in the Czech Republic. Because it was wildly popular, they dubbed it in Czech. So I didn't get to see it for the first time in English. But that doesn't matter much. I remember the 5th book coming out (I was in CZ) and my grandmother mailed it to us, and I switched of reading it with my older sister. I read the first chapter and then she read it. We stayed up all night doing this, but it was SO worth it. I had all the posters, computer games, mini poster books, action figures, pillow cases, book ends, stickers, postcards, etc. (Really etc... my list could go on for a long time). I knew everything about the books. I knew everything about the movies. I followed Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, and Daniel Radcliffe like it was my job. I was 10 but it didn't matter, I knew how to use Google. I spent hours making collages, and I even made this cut out of me and cut out Emma Watson with me. And then made us have matching ladybug necklaces and earrings. (Oh the joys of being home schooled, stuck in a foreign country, and paintbrush). I still REALLY love harry potter. I go to mugglenet EVERY day. And of course I joined emmawatsonofficial.com as soon as it was created. I was just now on it, and it made me miss all those hours I spent learning about the actors lives and dreaming of being in Harry Potter myself.
Emma Watson is 18 now! (April 15th, I remember because every time it was that day I would announce it, and everyone would reply it was tax day too). I miss Harry Potter it's really sad that the books are over. But at least we have 3 more movies to go, and a theme park. And Emma Watson will never fail me, she'll keep doing films (Ballet Shoes, Tale of Despereux). So hopefully I won't be too alone once they're all done. Just thought I'd go back in time a little and write down how much I appreciate Harry Potter. (I'm also taking a break from homework =])

Friday, 16 January 2009

5 degrees really?

Its getting eveeen colder. The semester ends today. HORRAY! I have a lot of tests and exams and stuff. So I don't have much time to pause and post this post or however you say it.

After school I have musical. and I could REALLY use a big cup of coffee. I had some this morning, but I need more.

APUS test today? I hope not.

I hate that so many of my posts are just about homework. haha That is so lame. I'll work on that more later. Sorry avid readers.

Thursday, 15 January 2009

18 degrees and Dropping

My best friend is distraught. And it makes me furious at people for being so cruel.
I haven't seen my other best friend because he told me I need to forget about his existence.
I've got an English paper due tomorrow that I need to finish now. And some dumb multiple choice.
Its 18 degrees today. And I waited for the bust for 8 min. A LONG 8 minutes (Good thing I had Nickel Creek to keep me company). I fell asleep on the bus, fell asleep in Algebra.

It all feels a little upside down right now. I just need to get through today and tomorrow. (I hate that we have a double A day) and then I'll be fine because we have a 4 day weekend. I can happily go into our 7 hour musical rehearsals (on monday and tuesday). drink coffee. watch One Tree Hill and hang out with friends that haven't disappeared off the face of the earth yet.

It is SO cold in this school I can barely type.

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

UNC is disappointing me.

AP Top 25
1. Pittsburgh (70) 15-0 1,798
2. Wake Forest (2) 14-0 1,686
3. Duke 14-1 1,678
4. Connecticut 14-1 1,549
5. North Carolina 14-2 1,461

Monday, 12 January 2009

There's a First Time For Everything

Today I broke someone's heart.
I've never done that before.
And it hurts way more than I thought possible.
And I tried my best not to make it so bad.
I was warned that this was going to happen.
And it did, and now we're both crushed.
Its overwhelming.

AP Top 25

1. Pittsburgh (70) 14-0 1,798
2. Duke 12-1 1,660
3. North Carolina (2) 13-1 1,651
4. Wake Forest 13-0 1,553
5. Connecticut 12-1 1,474
6. Oklahoma 13-1 1,358
7. Texas 11-2 1,348
8. Michigan State 11-2 1,269
9. Georgetown 10-2 1,208
10. UCLA 12-2 1,162
11. Syracuse 14-1 1,113
12. Clemson 14-0 968
13. Notre Dame 10-3 802
14. Purdue 11-3 774
15. Tennessee 9-3 533
16. Xavier 11-2 483
17. Boston College 13-2 453
18. Marquette 13-2 436
18. Villanova 12-2 436
20. Arizona State 12-2 374
21. Butler 12-1 341
22. Minnesota 13-1 290
23. Baylor 12-2 289
23. Louisville 9-3 289
25. West Virginia 11-2 230

Friday, 9 January 2009


Today, I'm antsy, uneasy, figity, have a headache, not breathing enough, have too much work, want the day to be over, hungry, tired, and more uneasy.

I'm tired of people always trying to one up me. Its such a high school thing and really annoying. I'm also tired of explaining myself. I'm about ready to just keep it all inside. Whatever it is. It'd be so much easy to just FEEL these emotions, and do things without having to say why. Maybe because often I don't know why. I feel like I owe it to my fellow peers for them to know what I'm thinking but then again, it changes so often, it'd just cause a lot of unnecessary drama. And I'm done with drama.

I'm tired of texting. Tired of people repeating themselves. Really tired of certain people being so easily influenced. Tired of all the greed in this world. And the push to have the best car, or the best clothes, or the best hair. Its all really pointless.

I want someone really really real. Someone who is honest about everything. Someone who is ready too humiliate themselves because its the truth. Someone who cares, and admits it. I'm sick of the kind of person who goes to the gym but says they don't care what they look like. And I'm tired of the person who says they don't try at all, but they spend hours putting on makeup and fixing their clothes.

Thankfully, I've found some best friends who are real. I don't know how I would keep sane without them. They keep me in check; make sure I'm sticking to what I say. I love them because I can be blunt and honest, and they'll accept it. You go friends.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009


Okay I lied. Third post today, I got distracted from APUS. (Another lie, I didn't even start) and went to mugglenet.com and WOWOWOWOOWOWW.


Here are some pictures. Incase you haven't been in awhile.

Its sad that Emma Thompson won't be in anymore of the films. And I still hate the "new" Dumbledore. I love that Tom Felton recently went to Orlando Studios (as did two of my best friends) and took pictures with his girlfriend. Maybe he was there the same time Emily and Evan were and they didn't even realize it. That'd be freaky.

Hello, Well Hello

I have a tendency to write two blog posts a day. I guess usually one is an update on life. And the other is something random like Tyler Hansbrough or a material item I want or something. This one is the update.

Today is a simple day. I go to school, go to class, go to musical, go to the gym (with TOOHEY! YAY), go home, go to the fridge, go to sleep. Yesterday I didn't go to the gym (because we're going every other day) and it was like the one day I really felt like I had to go. I wanted to run in peace. But instead I went home and watched Transformers.

I'm sore, and kind of don't want to go to the gym today. But maybe Toohey and I can motivate each other again. He made me bench. I did 60 hahaha whatever that means. And he spotted for me. Representing how amazing of a friend he is. As you can tell I'm appreciative.

I will now do APUS work, thats due last block. Hey at least I'm doing it.

World, Take Me Back

The world is full of wonderful things,
a bushel of wonderful things for me to believe in
So world, take me back
I want to be part of the human race again

And bid good-bye to all my trouble and tears
I've wasted so many odd years
It's time to get even
So world, take me back
I want to let laughter light up my face again

Oh, no more peeking through the keyhole
I intend to have my own key
No more sneaking past the parlor
From now on, it's me sitting on the settee.

Oh, today's a day to holler about
for after just sitting life out
since heavens know when.

My step has a spring and a drive
I'm suddenly young and alive
You wonderful world,
Take me back again!

(From the Musical Hello Dolly)

Monday, 5 January 2009

Sad Sad Game

I had to devote an entire post to the FIRST loss of the season. UNC lost to Boston College. They had one 13 straight games with an average of 26 point lead! and then they lost. Tyler Hansbrough (aka God) scored 21 points. This has been a sad game. I'm glad I didn't watch it, I would've been really stressed out.
This is the only time I really wish we had cable. I really really really want to watch these games, but no one is interested enough to let me watch it with them. And when March Madness comes around I'm going to go crazy. Even my dad in Saudi Arabia watches more games than me.

The blog will now be Carolina Blue. =]

Its 2009!

I didn't post all break. I can't even remember WHAT I did over break.
I went to Clinton, Wilmington, D.C., Charlottesville, and that's it. I went to the gym a lot, that we just joined. I wish my headaches would go away. The doctor said see and eye doctor and work out more. So the eye doctor said I needed reading glasses, so we ordered those and I've been working out. But nothing is different yet. We're going to get an MRI just in case something bigger is going on. I doubt its huge, its probably all stressed related.

I'm trying to apply to Governors School. I need 3 Activities and the position held, 3 Research Study Experiences, and 3 Honors Recognitions and how big of a deal they were. Too bad I don't have ANY research things. NOTHING. All I can think about is the debate I did about the Israel war. But it wasn't research it was just a debate. Well I guess I had to research for it. But now I need 2 others. UGHHH. I wish sports or plays counted for something but they don't. Any ideas?

I have forensics during lunch today, Ap Lang, Ap US, Musical after school, then I'm going straight from school to the gym for 2 hours. I'll get home around 8, eat, do homework. Talk about really being thrown back into reality. But Tuesday will be better. And Musical is fun, I just didn't memorize all the music that we were supposed to so I'm tense from that. But a bunch of other people didn't either. We'll all suffer together.

I really love life though. And school. YES even on a Monday Morning emily. Aakash picked me up, so I got to leave 25 min. LATER than usual. And I get to see all my friends. And start the day earlier which I actually enjoy doing because it makes the day longer. I love long days filled with stuff.

Okay that's life.