Thursday 11 December 2008

Dealing with Protective Parents

Over protective parents can be hindering and unreasonable. I know because I used to have them. My parents had rules for everything, when I could get my ears pierced, who I could hang out with, what to wear, when to be home, what I could watch anything there that was needed to be decided about they had an answer for; a very protective answer to be specific.
As the years go on, I learn how to deal with them. I think it comes down to three basic things, communication, being mature and responsible, and compromising. Lets take a simple situation and show how these steps helped work it out.
I’ve always wanted to dye my hair. But my parents were convinced that I shouldn’t. It was risky; I was too young… excuses galore! The first thing to do is to sit down with them and tell them what you want. Communication is the only way to get your point across. DON’T just buy the dye go to a friends house and come back with purple hair. Now be ready to hear a flat out ‘no’ but have a come back. This takes a lot of planning. But with the right kind of talking it will work out better in some way.
It helps if you already have their trust. If they say no, they have to know that you will obey them. So keep a clean history, and if you’ve already messed up their trust then don’t both with asking them for something else. So be mature and calm about the situation. Also remember, if your parents are so protective then they must have a reason for it. Even though you can’t possibly imagine why they would be holding you back, they actually do have an answer. The key is to ask! It shows that you’re mature and that you care. Which leads to the third step.
Compromise.
“Mom and Dad, I almost always listen to what you tell me to do. I have good grades, nice friends, I clean my room etc. and I feel like I deserve this”. Most likely, they’ll agree that you do (if what you said was true). This will open their minds to new thoughts about maybe loosening up. Then suggest something a little less drastic than the original idea, showing that you’re open to haggle with the situation. Originally, I wanted to dye my hair dark brown (from blonde!) then I suggested maybe I could just do natural highlights as a first experience.
After you have communicated, been mature, and compromised let them talk amongst themselves. Parents will have different ideas, and will want to communicate themselves. If they don’t talk to you about the situation after a few days, mention it once again. But don’t nag or complain. Eventually, they will let up. If they really do say no again, it’s okay because you can use it as more help to you next time you want something by saying, “Since I’m not allowed to dye my hair even thought I’m responsible and was willing to compromise maybe I can…” fill in the blank.
Over protective parents mean they care about you and truly love you. They just don’t want their little girls and boys growing up. Just remember to communicate your feelings, be reasonable, and be ready to compromise. It’ll all work out with careful planning.

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